Pornography of My Inner Universe
Currently under construction

Drown

By Wild Ice
My eyes don't feel right. It seemed as if tears are waiting to fall but they never. They were stuck there, or probably exhausted of the last fight WE had. This new fight is worst but these drops never loomed. They were in the mix of grief and anger. Grief for the loss of the greatest part of my life, anger for feeling taken for granted.
This is it. I called it off.
I've had enough. these past few weeks I felt that something is missing. Things aren't the way they used to be. But I tried to work it out. But it was still there, that missing part. So all I wanted to have at the very last moment was to be understood, to demand that very tiny time that is possible for a very very short conversation.
THAT AMAZING SECOND OF KNOWING EVERYTHING'S OKAY. But there were so many excuses. All throughout our time span, I ALWAYS hear damn excuses, flimsy even. But right at this moment I was asking for a little attention, I only wanted to be understood for that no-big-deal-but-meaningful mood I was having. But I turned out to be the bad person again, ALWAYS.
I did not want to arouse argument, all I want was a simple attention, that whisper I longed to have despite busy schedule. That simple word, that passionate simple word.... Oh, you confirmed there's nothing left to say because there isn't anymore of what I want. DAMN IT.
To all of you people out there, don't judge. This ain't half of what happened. There's more story behind it. For the mean time, all I want to do now is get myself drunk, bleed, and get a hell of a night. Don't worry, I will be watchful of myself. All I want to do now is drown... Not to die, but to drown... To feel something different enveloping my body, something odd gurgling in my ears, something that would hide those which will come out my eyes.
 

0 comments so far.

Something to say?